


A Broken Man's Salvation

by Nokris (orphan_account)



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Agony, Alien Culture, Ben Hargreeves Deserves Better, Ben Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Body Horror, Clearly No One Liked This so Discontinued, Dialogue Heavy, Different Dimensions, Dimension Travel, Gen, Graphic Description, Human Expermination (Somewhat), Lucid Dreaming, Lucid Worlds, Mental Anguish, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Out of Body Experiences, Out of Character, Siblings Are Only Mentioned, Some Plot, Telepathy, non-canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-26
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:28:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27724831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Nokris
Summary: The Eldritch tear the mental link between Their and Ben's mind.Ben undergoes the horror's of what The Eldritch are truly capable of.
Kudos: 3





	A Broken Man's Salvation

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so first things first, I wrote this story to be a cluster of incoherent mess so this story is not meant to be understood, so you have free will to comment anything, I wrote this to be a vent, to push the boundaries (give or take) of what is considered a story and just a complete riot so If you do not like this story because of how messy, how unorginised or stupid it is then that is completely fine. 
> 
> Triggers; Body Horror, Graphic Description of Body Horror/Violence, Mental Anguish/Health Issues
> 
> The bold is The Eldritch  
> The italics are for you to decide ;) 
> 
> Also left big gaps between most sentences just incase it's easier to read that way.

Ben dreams of a barren wasteland filled with bodies covered in veils of blood, flowers falling from the cracked skies, the desolate sand ash hits against the broken buildings littered with carcasses of animals, trees sprouting from the tarbased ground, whispers are shrouding the empty air.

_salvationsalvationsalvation_

Is what he hears inside his mind as his eyes open from the nightmare riddled dream, a warm mattress underneath his cold body as he shivers against the cold air, his skin shines cold against the morning sun that hides its warmth behind the grey clouds.

The mirror he has is shattered into pieces, a moment of fear came from him one night when The Eldritch sang to him of a lullaby of the dead, screams upon screams was the correct term to use as he spent the full night afraid of his own reflection and when he did, his initial thought was to end himself.

He speaks none as he is afraid of his own voice spilling out the secrets of himself and The Eldritch, the Old Gods within him laugh in pity at the man who is afraid of the dark, afraid of the truth that revels around him.

He writes down what he hears inside his dreams, letters massive in the sky, manifestations of memories bound by hatred, bound by a melody of time, whispers that bend the minds of madmen chasing a crypt that is wrapped in white ribbons tainted by blood.

_Salvation_

_Saviour_

_Eden_

_Temptation_

_Truth_

_Lies_

_Sorrow_

He understands nothing, and comes to the conclusion that he never will. No matter how many times he dreams and dreams again and again of this, the court of his mind is spilling out onto the floor and the dancing kings of the insane are coming to tango, dance away into the shadows of the fallen.

The Eldritch know.

They know of the pain that is yet to come, the pain of a man who lives in fear, the wonder of the man who opens for all, the sorrow of a man who has a stomach of an infinite plane.

He is one, he is two and he is all, a man who is an entity with a living body and a mind, a cascade of trails of an infinite timelines, a messed up man who has been given false love by a madman obsessed with the powers of children, it's all fun and games until the man is the only one to save them all.

_Be thy salvation upon the night_

_Be thy saviour upon the day_

_Be thy eden upon the apocalypse_

_Be thy temptation upon the end_

_Be thy truth upon the dark_

_Be thy lie upon the light_

_Be thy sorrow upon it all_

He is alone. Alone and gone.

He’s really not but he feels like it when the night comes in and the demons come out and play, the tentacles inside him burst through his skin like paper and protect him from everything and anything when the wails from his mouth become bloody, a banshee's scream is not far behind.

_O’Seeker True to My Salvation_

_O’Lover True to My Saviour_

_O’Wonderer True to My Eden_

_O’Killer True to My Temptation_

_O’Hero True to My Truth_

_O’Fearful True to My Lies_

_O’Gulity True to My Sorrow_

Not everything is to make sense, enigma’s written into melodies, pandorica’s box is a mindframe, the darkness is a truth within a lie within the abomination of a lair. It’s hilarious to watch a man fall apart at the seams when his mind is a music box for a woman touched by grace.

_Act on my Salvation, become the reborn_

_Act on my Saviour, become the death_

_Act on my Eden, become the home_

_Act on my Temptation, become the end_

_Act on my Truth, become the glass_

_Act on my Lies, become the whispers_

_Act on my Sorrow, become the shield_

Seek out TRUTH

Seek out LIES

Seek out SORROW

Seek out GUILT 

Seek out TEMPTATION

Seek out EDEN

Seek out **SALVATION**

Ben is nothing without the Whispers of The Nightmares, nothing without the illusions of time, nothing without the collapse of his memory, nothing without anything.

The Eldritch are the ones who speak.

The ones who drive him away from the betrayal of his family, drive him away from his death that was bound to come, they made him anew into a world that is a nightmare and Ben is beginning to see the Light that will lead him back home.

It’s all lies, his life that is, the nightmare life.

The voices speak again and again, loud and loud.

_Come to us of a new birth_

_Come to us of a new death_

_Come to us of a new life_

_Come to us of a lullaby written in placenta_

_Come to us of a song of light_

_Come to us of a garden of sorrow_

_Come to us of a statue of deep_

_Reach out into us and pull_

_Reach out into us and push_

_Reach out into us and scream_

_Reach out into us and cry_

_Reach out into us and sing_

_Reach out into us and hum_

_Reach out into us and dance_

Ben does none of that as he lies upon his own broken body, cuts on his skin made by the mirrors that fall from the sky, his eyes bleed a song of freedom and his mouth tares into snakes as he screams to be freed from The Grasp of The Eldritch.

_I know you are there_

_I can hear you scream_

_I won’t give up on you_

_None of us will_

_Come back and we will understand_

_We need you back,_

_Please._

He tries, oh god he tried to reach above his own heart and pull at the hands that desperately reach into the broken world of this godforsaken nightmare.

His attempts are nothing as the warriors of The Eldritch feed themselves off of the pain, feed themselves onto the flesh that is buried into the grass that is burning with the fury of Ben. It’s weak and pitiful

_Do I dare speak against this_

_Do I dare speak against all_

_Do I dare speak against me_

_I do, I dare do speak against you._

_My words unheard by the mist_

_A simple hymn would become a song_

_Speak out against yourself, I will not._

_Find that this is a myth._

Speak. 

Speak and be heard by thy understanding, sense he does not understand but understand of the pit that raises the sensations of knowledge, learn of the horrors that your mind has shattered upon you. Ben tries to listen to the voice inside his head but all he gets is a shattering scream of static and a radio speaking to him..

_The Seeker who Seeks Nothing_

_The Lost who Is Always Found_

_The Guilty who Is Innocent_

_The Liar who Only Speaks Truth_

_The Hero who Is A Villain_

_The Killer who Is Pure_

_The Feared who Is Lonely_

Words, words, words is all and all and all he can hear in that birthing sky who bleeds heavy, a woman's womb is the sky and her children is the creatures of his fears, his truth and his lust to be freed from the plane of horrendous nightmares, corruption is a dandalin who is trying to be a sunflower.

A noose is a candy cane wrapped in plastic that bare down deep into his skull, a key turns inside his throat and he becomes a broken music box, yet he dances and dances around the ash ridden tree that holds the umbilical cords of his bedridden mind.

_**Oh Ben, let me tell you what they are,** _

**_The Titan who is of Strength_ **

**_The Hero who is of Fear_ **

**_The Liar who is of Reality_ **

**_The Seeker who is of Death_ **

**_The Killer who is of Time_ **

**_The Scared who is Beasts_ **

**_The Lonely who is of Destruction_ **

Ben stays silent, then a scream wrapped in cellos is shouting into him and he screams back, he screams back in pain and hopes the voice stops.

A whisker of remembrance is within him..

_I heard a rumour that you came back to us_

_I heard a rumour that you came back to us_

_I heard a rumour that you came back to us_

_I heard a rumour that you knew the truth_

_I heard a rumour that you knew the truth_

_I heard a rumour that you knew the truth_

Ben sees nothing, hears nothing and feels everything as the sky becomes blue, the sun shines and the grass beneath his feet is greener than anything he has seen, a world alive again without the womb in the sky, without the empty buildings covered in carcasses. 

**Must I remind you that it is you and I who are one**

**You seek to become none but one without me**

**Be thy end you shall but I shall be yours**

**Speak of the radio and I shall shatter us**

**Shatter you like ice upon the cliff tops**

**Fear me and you will understand**

His mind is close to jumping off into the abyss and shouting into the voidless light, jaws and jaws of himself are thrown at his skin, piercing his skin into pieces and writing himself a letter of his own demise by the hands of his own insanity placed upon two cups.

_Silence and wonder thy understanding_

_Utter the maddening words of the nightmare_

_Dance with me until the sky shatters_

_My heart is a place of warmth and greed_

_Tear me apart on top your throne my lord_

_Build me into the ideal dream_

_Love me quiet into the silked river_

Ben, in his lost and shattered self, smiles at words spoken by the echoes of time, distorted melodies of a love he is yet to come across, a river upon a river balanced by lovers who share a secret never to be spoken.

_Love is the true conqueror_

_Oh please don’t make this sappy_

_It’s funny though, seeing you all cringe_

_I think it’s sweet_

_Oh yeah because you know what love is_

_Ok ouch, that hurts you know_

_Deserved it._

_Diego.._

Diego. A tug, another pull, need, need, need. Jesus wept, he needs to become a Light in the Dark, hold thy hand into the dark of the wombs and pull me through, he begs and he beg’s to make him come back home.

_Trust._

_Trust in yourself and understand that horrid lullaby_

_It’s a play on your mind_

_A song written in insanity and encased in a ribbon_

_Break thy ribbon and become free_

_Free from the pit,_

_Free from the grasp of THEM_

_Break free from the false salvation_

_You are your own salvation_

_So become it_

_Be the salvation that is needed._

Ben is shook away from the voice as The Eldritch push him down into the fire, tentacles wrap around his throat and they scream into his mind.

**LIES**

**LIES**

**LIES**

**YOUR MIND IS LYING, THE VOICE YOU SEEK IS NOTHING**

**LISTEN TO ME, LISTEN TO US**

**SPEAK NONE OF THIS AND OUR SALVATION WILL BE BROUGHT**

**WE ARE THE DARK**

**WE ARE THE LIGHT**

**WE ARE THE SALVATION OF YOUR PITIFUL MIND**

**YOU CANNOT BREAK US**

Ben wraps his arms around himself and cries out into the merciful night, he begs for release into a world that is not his own, a dollhouse inside him breaks opens and out comes the dolls, a puppet master birthing horrors upon horrors into the fragile of a man who was always afraid of himself. His powers beyond control, that were never his powers but now here he is, in a nightmare land of fears, horror, emotions and manifestations of a beast gone mad.

The night falls silent to his cries, the blood at his feet stay still as his tears pitter against the ash covered ground and the womb above him laughs at his entrapment, days are repeating themselves and the voices are becoming a walkway to a throne, Ben does nothing as he is locked into a fear that is turning him to ice, the cold comforts him from the fires that tickle at his skin, an apocalypse within an apocalypse that is yet to happen.

Ben falters for a second as the static becomes clear and the radio is loud, a voice clear in his ear and yet a voice of no recognising is within him.

Yet he knows he’s lying to himself.

_Ben._

_I will ask you this once._

_Please do not ignore me_

_Do you remember?_

Nothing is said after that, no words, no laughter, not even the sounds of this Hell that he is in makes a sound. It is almost like the world is afraid of a simple question, a question that can lead to a million different scenarios, a million different meanings.

Does he remember what pain felt like?

Does he remember what love felt like?

Does he remember Five- _wait, who is Five_..

Does he remember the sound of wind?

Does he remember what he ate?

Does he remember Klaus- _Klaus._.?

No, no he does not remember.

So he ignores that voice that sounds oh so familiar but again as always, The Eldritch tears his mind away from his mind and speak again in riddles, in lyrics and in titles of things that make no sense, but he’s deluded to repeal the insane things The Eldritch say.

**OH HOW GOES THIS NIGHTMARE**

**OH HOW DOES THE KING OF BEASTS SHIVER**

**COME NOW, THE LONELY MAN CRIES**

**LET ME BE FREE, THE FINAL STAND SHOUTS**

**WASH AWAY THY FIRE, THE MADMAN DANCES**

**PLAY ME THY MUSIC BOX, THE EDEN OF SALVATION WHISPERS**

**TAKE YOUR ARROGANCE AWAY, HE WHO WAILS AND SORROWS**

**DROWN AWAY, THE INSURRECTION SCREAMS**

**LAUGH AWAY AT US, THE SHAPER OF SHAPES DIES**

**FREEDOM WILL NEVER COME, HE WHO WILL BRING THE DARK**

Ben pulls at his jaw, the painful and agony feeling of his fingernails dig into the sides of his skin and he pulls and pulls and pulls until he is drowning and drowning in his own blood.

He will be free one day.

Salvation _lied to him._


End file.
